Un uomo vuole cambiare il suo cervello. Va in una clinica per trapianti di cervello e gli fanno vedere il catalogo: cervello di matematico 20.000 £ al chilo, cervello di biologo 30.000 £ al chilo, cervello di medico 40.000 £ al chilo. Poi vede: cervello di ingegnere 1.000.000 £ al chilo. Stupito, chiede alla segretaria:
- "Signorina, perché il cervello di ingegnere costa così tanto?"
- "Ma lei lo sa quanti ne dobbiamo ammazzare per metterne insieme almeno un chilo?"





Un tizio entra in un negozio e chiede:
-"Vorrei un chilo di mele." Il negoziante gli dice:
-"Come le vuole rosse o gialle?" e il tizio risponde:
-"Non ha importanza tanto dopo le sbuccio."




Un daino dice a un altro daino:
-"Giochiamo a nascondaino?"
E l' altro risponde:
-"Dai,no."




Se i gatti quando camminano vanno gattoni gattoni, i coyoti quando camminano come vanno? Se offendi un parmigiano reggiano, ti trovi una grana? Nelle riunioni di gabinetto i ministri fanno gli stronzi ? Perché se Dio è immortale, ha lasciato ben due Testamenti? Perché si chiama sala-parto se ha solo nuovi arrivi? Se la museruola si mette sul muso dove si mette la cazzuola? Lo stitico quando muore va in purgatorio ? Se Garibaldi é partito da Quarto, chi erano i tre partiti prima di lui? Le tende da sole ... soffrono di solitudine ? Sono le pecore di Murano che producono la lana di vetro? Nei film porno il protagonista e il montatore sono la stessa persona? Ma in una banca del seme, cosa danno di interessi? Se lavorare fa bene, perché non lo lasciamo fare agli ammalati ? Ma se il mio capo si droga, io sono un tossico-dipendente? La penisola è un isola a forma di pene ? GESTANTE è participio presente o preservativo imperfetto ? Il formaggio con le pere è femmina o si droga? La luce viaggia più veloce del suono, sarà per questo che molte persone appaiono brillanti finchè non le senti parlare? Se son rose fioriranno... ma se sono cachi? Quelli che attaccano i cartelli "Chi tocca muore" muoiono tutti?




Due scoregge si incontrano
-"Be... perchè quella faccia?"
-"Sai... il mio ragazzo mi ha mollata!!"




C'è un gay sul trampolino di una piscina in procino di gettarsi... e dice al bagnino: bagnino ma se io mi tuffo lei mi prende??? e il bagnino: col cazzo!!! e il gay: beh...! allora mi butto di culo!!!




Due vecchi decidono di fare una gara a chi piscia piu' lontano. Allora vanno dietro un albero, fanno la pipi' e il primo dice: "Mi sono bagnato le scarpe". E il secondo: "Hai vinto tu!".




Pietro porta in passeggio una lumaca al guinzaglio.
- "Ciao Pietro!" - lo saluta un amico - "Hai una bellissima lumaca."
- "Avevo una ancora più bella ma mi è scappata."




"Documenti..." "Non ce li ho!" "Il casco?" "Non ce l'ho!" "Lo specchietto?" "Non ce l'ho!" "La targa?" "Non ce l'ho!" "Gli stop?" "Non ci sono!" "Allora, riepilogando: lei è senza documenti, senza casco, senza stop, senza specchietto e senza targa... e ora come la mettiamo?" "Appoggiata al muro, che è senza cavalletto..."




Una signora inglese va a fare la spesa dal fruttivendolo e chiede: "Scusi, quali essere zucchine?" Il fruttivendolo risponde: "Signò, sono quelle là" E l'inglese: "Così piccole? Da noi essere grosse così!" E le compra. Dopo un pò, l'inglese: "Scusi quali essere peperoni?" Il fruttivendolo: "Signò, stanno lì davanti!!" L'inglese: "Così piccoli? Da noi essere grossi così!!" E li compra. La signora sta per andar via quando incuriosita si avvicina alla cassetta dei cocomeri e chiede: "Scusi, cosa essere quelli?" e il fruttivendolo, innervosito: "Signò, quelli sono i piselli!!


...meglio ste barzellette no? v__v (non ve la prendete con me se non vi piacciono, le ho copiate da un sito .__.) suvvia, suvvia! gli spam sono ridicoli! se ce l'hai con lord...perchè non gli parli faccia a faccia? (ho qualche sospetto sul fatto che tu sia australiano >_>XD è un mio amico, e gli amici si aiutano per quel che si può!

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It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

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"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

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"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"

Lets just say:
"Did you just touch my ass?
It's ok if you touched my ass, Just I don't swing that way man!"